On a Health & Fitness bulletin board I frequent, someone asked an interesting question...what do you think when you see someone who is overweight working out? Apparently, she is overweight, and when she was riding her bike recently, someone yelled out to her that he felt sorry for her bike. I find myself absolutely able to put myself in her shoes and imagine how she must have cringed to hear that. After all, no one likes to be judged, even if it is by a small-minded d-bag like the guy who yelled that at her.
The gym I go to has a pretty varied clientèle. I see young people and older people, thinner people and bigger people, beginners and veterans of the gym. I have never felt like I should be embarrassed to be working out there, and I am definitely on the "bigger people" side of the fence. However, I do take a look around the gym when I am there, and I do notice the people who are there with me. And when I see someone who is closer to my size, I feel a little relieved not to be the only fat person there.
It's unfortunate that someone who is taking steps to make herself healthier needs to worry about something like this. After all, it's better to be a fat person at the gym or on a bike or in a pool than a fat person sitting at home on her couch and eating bonbons, right? However, as someone who is overweight, it's hard not to wonder what people are thinking when they see you sweating on the treadmill. I hope they are thinking, "Hey, good for her!"
Being overweight often involves a lot of internal dialog. Often, when you are planning a meal, you are worrying if it's "too much." After you've finished a meal, you are worrying if it was too much. After you have binged on something like ice cream or a bag of chips with dip, you know it was too much, and you hate yourself for it. And you often find yourself telling yourself that you have already messed up for the day, so you might as well hit all your old favorites up before "starting over" tomorrow. When you climb on the treadmill at the gym, you wonder what speed others are walking or running at. You wonder if you look stupid. And you wonder what other people are thinking about you.
Well, here's what I think. Don't worry about what other people are thinking about you. I know that I am doing this for me because I know that I am worth this. I am worthy of feeling healthy and strong and fit. I am worthy of feeling good in my own skin and of celebrating every pound of fat that I work off this body of mine. After all, I only get this one body, and it is up to me what I do with it...not that small-minded type of person who is more worried about the bike that she was riding than the woman on it who was striving to do a little something for herself. I think I am doing a great job...and if someone doesn't agree with me, he can keep it to himself.
My progress...
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Goals
When I started this whole weight loss and fitness thing in January, I set as my first goal weight 250 pounds. At the time, I weighed in at 274.6 pounds on the scale, and when I looked at that number and thought about how much weight I had to lose to be at a healthy BMI, I hyperventilated a little. Just thinking about losing at least 100 pounds was so overwhelming, so I didn't think of it that way. I decided to take it in multiples of 25 pounds instead.
I hit my first goal of 250 pounds a couple of weeks ago, and now I am working toward 225 pounds. The lowest weight I have been since getting married was about 235 pounds, so when I hit my next goal, I will be the lightest I have been in a long, long time. In fact, I cannot remember the last time I weighed that little.
Now that I am about 31 pounds and almost five months into this journey, I am cautiously allowing myself to think of the bigger picture. I don't want to set myself up for failure, but I do want to give myself the credit I deserve and get excited about the future. I recently turned 34, and I have started thinking that my 35th birthday will be good target date for a Big Goal. And I have set as the goal a weight on my 35th birthday of 200 pounds.
This gives me about a year to lose about 45 pounds. While it is true that my weight loss has slowed down and that there will be good weeks and bad weeks, I think I should be able to make this goal. As I move further into the C25K program, I know there will be a day when I will be able to run for exercise without interspersing it with walking sessions. And once I get through W4 of the program, I plan to add strength training (and therefore longer gym sessions) to my list of activities. I feel good about this goal and feel it gives me something good to work toward.
-------------------
Switching gears, I want to talk about something that is going on over at the blog Jack Sh*t Getting Fit. Jack is doing a feature on his blog called W.I.D.T.H., which stands for "Why I am doing this here." In this feature, readers are invited to write on an index card their reasons for getting fit. The reasons vary from "For my kids" to "Because I want a better life" to "I don't want to die young." Reading these note cards has shown me that, as much as I feel like most people I know can't understand this journey I am on, there are other people out there who struggle with the same issues I do. There are people at different stages of their journey, some well into it and some just starting out, and they know what I am feeling.
You know what my note card says? It says, "Because I am worth it!" And I am worth it. It's easy to get down on yourself and feel worthless and useless when you have a problem with food. When you are in the midst of a binge, it's easy to think that you might as well just keep eating because you don't deserve to be fit and healthy, to be attractive, or to feel good. However, I know that I am worth it. And that is why I am doing this here.
Make it a great day, everyone!
Edited to add:
My submission for the W.I.D.T.H. feature:
I hit my first goal of 250 pounds a couple of weeks ago, and now I am working toward 225 pounds. The lowest weight I have been since getting married was about 235 pounds, so when I hit my next goal, I will be the lightest I have been in a long, long time. In fact, I cannot remember the last time I weighed that little.
Now that I am about 31 pounds and almost five months into this journey, I am cautiously allowing myself to think of the bigger picture. I don't want to set myself up for failure, but I do want to give myself the credit I deserve and get excited about the future. I recently turned 34, and I have started thinking that my 35th birthday will be good target date for a Big Goal. And I have set as the goal a weight on my 35th birthday of 200 pounds.
This gives me about a year to lose about 45 pounds. While it is true that my weight loss has slowed down and that there will be good weeks and bad weeks, I think I should be able to make this goal. As I move further into the C25K program, I know there will be a day when I will be able to run for exercise without interspersing it with walking sessions. And once I get through W4 of the program, I plan to add strength training (and therefore longer gym sessions) to my list of activities. I feel good about this goal and feel it gives me something good to work toward.
-------------------
Switching gears, I want to talk about something that is going on over at the blog Jack Sh*t Getting Fit. Jack is doing a feature on his blog called W.I.D.T.H., which stands for "Why I am doing this here." In this feature, readers are invited to write on an index card their reasons for getting fit. The reasons vary from "For my kids" to "Because I want a better life" to "I don't want to die young." Reading these note cards has shown me that, as much as I feel like most people I know can't understand this journey I am on, there are other people out there who struggle with the same issues I do. There are people at different stages of their journey, some well into it and some just starting out, and they know what I am feeling.
You know what my note card says? It says, "Because I am worth it!" And I am worth it. It's easy to get down on yourself and feel worthless and useless when you have a problem with food. When you are in the midst of a binge, it's easy to think that you might as well just keep eating because you don't deserve to be fit and healthy, to be attractive, or to feel good. However, I know that I am worth it. And that is why I am doing this here.
Make it a great day, everyone!
Edited to add:
My submission for the W.I.D.T.H. feature:
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Moving right along...
My sister posted something on Facebook the other day about a song that was stuck in her head, "Movin' Right Along" from The Muppet Movie. I am a huge fan of the Muppets (although my favorite movie of theirs is probably The Muppets Take Manhattan), and I feel like this song has a lot to say about the journey I am on. And this has been a big week! Because I am going out of town for the weekend and will be away from my official scale, I weighed in today. I am down an additional 2.2 pounds from last week for a grand total lost of 31.2 pounds since January 4! I am so thrilled by this because it is the first time ever that I have been this successful for this long at a weight loss effort. I feel like I can take on the world now, and I am not even finding it as difficult as I would expect it to be! I am still eating what I want to eat, but I am eating "bad" foods less often and paying attention to my portions and moving more. This diet and exercise thing really works!
And speaking of moving more, I hit a big milestone at the gym today. As I have mentioned, I have been doing the Couch-to-5K program, and since I was in such bad shape when I started, I decided to do week 1 for two weeks in a row and week 2 for two weeks in a row. Today was to be my third day of my second take on week 2. For those not familiar with the exact layout of the program, during week 2, your goal is to run (or jog) for 1.5 minutes and walk for 2 minutes for a total of 20 minutes. Today, when I got on the treadmill, I didn't want to be at the gym at all. I am in total vacay mode because I don't go back to work until next Friday, and I plan to enjoy my time off. But I got started anyway, which is a great first step.
And speaking of moving more, I hit a big milestone at the gym today. As I have mentioned, I have been doing the Couch-to-5K program, and since I was in such bad shape when I started, I decided to do week 1 for two weeks in a row and week 2 for two weeks in a row. Today was to be my third day of my second take on week 2. For those not familiar with the exact layout of the program, during week 2, your goal is to run (or jog) for 1.5 minutes and walk for 2 minutes for a total of 20 minutes. Today, when I got on the treadmill, I didn't want to be at the gym at all. I am in total vacay mode because I don't go back to work until next Friday, and I plan to enjoy my time off. But I got started anyway, which is a great first step.
At the end of my first 1.5 minute run, I still felt like I could keep going, so I decided to try to jog my way through the 2 minute walking segment as well. Once I made it through that, I decided to piggyback the next jog on top of it. And then I decided to jog the next walking segment as well. All told, I jogged for the first SEVEN MINUTES of my 20 minute jog/walk I then walked for 3.5 minutes, jogged for 3.5 minutes, walked for 3.5 minutes, and then jogged for the final 1.5 minutes of the workout. I am so excited that I did this, and I no longer fear moving on to the week 3 workouts, which involve some 3-minute jogging segments that should be no problem for me! YAY!
My goal for the weekend (I am going with my parents to Pittsburgh to visit my sister and see her graduate with her MBA from Carnegie Mellon University) is to have fun but also get some exercise in and drink plenty of water. I would expect that my eating habits will be a little off, as we are going out for two nice dinners and will probably eat our other meals out as well, but while I plan to enjoy myself, I don't plan to eat myself silly. All things in moderation, right?
Make it a great day, everyone!
Thursday, May 06, 2010
Progress
So picture this...you have a day or two of excess. A fast food lunch, birthday foods at work. You don't go too far over your calories, but you do eat more "junk food" than you have been. You step on the scale. You have "gained" 3.2 pounds.
I put the word gained in quotes because those of us who have tried to lose weight before know all about water weight. Eating more junk food usually means eating more sodium. Eating more sodium means that you end up bloated and retaining water. However, no matter what the reason is, seeing that higher number on the scale is not fun at all. That is where I was on Monday. Even though I drank a lot of water and Crystal Lite on Sunday in hopes of diuresing a bit (that's a fancy nursing term for "peeing a lot"), I still found myself looking at the scale Monday morning in horror. I weighed in at 250.2 pounds.
I knew that it was a false weight gain. And within another day, I was back down to 248.8 pounds, and two days after that, I was down to my current weight of 245.6 pounds (29 POUNDS LOST SINCE JANUARY 4!). But those first few days of the week were a morale-killer! I know that I should not be weighing myself every day because of the events that lead to these false weight gains. However, I just can't help myself. The scale is there. I need to know. So I step on the scale and acknowledge to myself that I will not always like what I see. It makes it a little easier to take. I only record my weight once each week, though, so I don't necessarily "count" every pound up and down.
I do see myself making progress, however. The pounds are still coming off, as they have consistently since I started taking better care of myself in January. I am making my way through the C25K program, currently planning to finish Week 2, Take 1 tomorrow. Next week, I will do Week Two again, and the week after that, I will be attempting to run three minutes without stopping. I am paying attention to my body when on the treadmill to try to gauge how I will take this jump from jogging for 90 seconds at a time to jogging for three minutes at a time. Yesterday, I didn't want to go to the gym at all, but thanks to the encouragement of some of the girls on the Health & Fitness board on The Nest, I got out the door and got it done. I have been having some pain in my non-arthritic knee, and I was all set to use that as an excuse not to go. However, I went, and I felt so good about myself when I was done. I then spent part of the afternoon with an ice pack on my knee, and today, it feels good.
While on the treadmill yesterday, there were times that it was a struggle to keep going. And I was trying to decide if it was my legs or my lungs that were making it such a struggle. If it was my legs, I really thought I could soldier through. If it was my lungs, it was a case of my stamina being lower than I needed it to be, which is another story then. I did not really decide yesterday which it was. I know that my legs were really tired by the end of my workout and that I stepped gingerly off the treadmill after my cool down and stretch. I know that by the time I got to the grocery store after leaving the gym, I was very stiff and had to hobble into the store to grab a few things. But I also know that my lungs were ready to switch to a walk by the time each jogging segment was over. So I guess that I am making progress in both areas equally? I am hoping by the end of next week, the 90-second runs will feel like cake and I will be more than ready to move on to week three.
Make it a great day, everyone!
I put the word gained in quotes because those of us who have tried to lose weight before know all about water weight. Eating more junk food usually means eating more sodium. Eating more sodium means that you end up bloated and retaining water. However, no matter what the reason is, seeing that higher number on the scale is not fun at all. That is where I was on Monday. Even though I drank a lot of water and Crystal Lite on Sunday in hopes of diuresing a bit (that's a fancy nursing term for "peeing a lot"), I still found myself looking at the scale Monday morning in horror. I weighed in at 250.2 pounds.
I knew that it was a false weight gain. And within another day, I was back down to 248.8 pounds, and two days after that, I was down to my current weight of 245.6 pounds (29 POUNDS LOST SINCE JANUARY 4!). But those first few days of the week were a morale-killer! I know that I should not be weighing myself every day because of the events that lead to these false weight gains. However, I just can't help myself. The scale is there. I need to know. So I step on the scale and acknowledge to myself that I will not always like what I see. It makes it a little easier to take. I only record my weight once each week, though, so I don't necessarily "count" every pound up and down.
I do see myself making progress, however. The pounds are still coming off, as they have consistently since I started taking better care of myself in January. I am making my way through the C25K program, currently planning to finish Week 2, Take 1 tomorrow. Next week, I will do Week Two again, and the week after that, I will be attempting to run three minutes without stopping. I am paying attention to my body when on the treadmill to try to gauge how I will take this jump from jogging for 90 seconds at a time to jogging for three minutes at a time. Yesterday, I didn't want to go to the gym at all, but thanks to the encouragement of some of the girls on the Health & Fitness board on The Nest, I got out the door and got it done. I have been having some pain in my non-arthritic knee, and I was all set to use that as an excuse not to go. However, I went, and I felt so good about myself when I was done. I then spent part of the afternoon with an ice pack on my knee, and today, it feels good.
While on the treadmill yesterday, there were times that it was a struggle to keep going. And I was trying to decide if it was my legs or my lungs that were making it such a struggle. If it was my legs, I really thought I could soldier through. If it was my lungs, it was a case of my stamina being lower than I needed it to be, which is another story then. I did not really decide yesterday which it was. I know that my legs were really tired by the end of my workout and that I stepped gingerly off the treadmill after my cool down and stretch. I know that by the time I got to the grocery store after leaving the gym, I was very stiff and had to hobble into the store to grab a few things. But I also know that my lungs were ready to switch to a walk by the time each jogging segment was over. So I guess that I am making progress in both areas equally? I am hoping by the end of next week, the 90-second runs will feel like cake and I will be more than ready to move on to week three.
Make it a great day, everyone!
Monday, May 03, 2010
Food and where it comes from...
For the past couple of weeks, I have been reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. In it, she details her family's year of living on their farm in Appalachia and really taking control of where the food they ate was coming from. They raised chickens, bought local beef and pork, grew their own vegetables, canned and dried food for the off-season, and relied on local farms and farm markets to round out their diets. As someone who buys all of her food at the grocery store and tries not to think of where it comes from, as well as someone who hits the drive-thru more than once each week, this is a new and interesting look at food and its origins. It has gotten me interested enough that I have started seeking out alternative resources for the foods I eat. I certainly am not planning a "cold turkey" approach to these changes, and I am sure that an occasional fast food run will be part of my life, but this book has really opened me up to the thought of living more locally and really paying attention to where the food I eat is coming from.
As usually happens when I become interested in a topic, I have started seeking out more information on this local food phenomenon. The Nest's message board community has a "Green Living" board that I have been frequenting more as of late, and there are a lot of women on there who are doing better than I would ever hope to do at living cleanly and locally in their communities. Without fail, these women recommend the books by Michael Pollan (The Omnivore's Dilemma, In Defense of Food) and the documentary Food, Inc., as a way to learn more about this food movement. After I finish Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, I have The Omnivore's Dilemma on my nook and ready to be read. I think this book is probably a little more hard-hitting than A,V,M in that it is less the story of someone's personal experience and more an informational book designed to teach you about the food you eat. And right now, I am watching Food,Inc., for the first time. I say the first time because I will clearly have to watch it again. It is alarming.
So far, I have cried over some baby chicks heading down a chute, some adult chickens that couldn't stand up because they had been bred to have such large breasts, a cow that was so sick that it couldn't stand, and some screaming hogs that were being led to slaughter. I have been awed by a woman who lost her toddler son to E. coli poisoning and now has made it her life's work to improve the food standards in America. I have been inspired by a farmer who doesn't care to make it big in the national markets but instead wants to grow and produce the best food he can without giving up his ideals. I have been sad for a family that uses fast food as a way to fill their bellies because it is the way they can stretch their dollar the farthest. I have been angered by the stories of the companies who are keeping hidden the way their suppliers treat their animals because they know that the American public would not be happy with these stories. At this point, I am only halfway through the program. I can't even imagine what kind of emotions I will go through during the rest of it.
While I make no promises to go completely clean with my eating or give up fast food completely, it is clear to me that there is a need for change. As I am working to make myself healthier through diet and exercise, I am becoming more aware that there is a difference between staying within a calorie range for the day and choosing foods that will provide good fuel for my body. With the help of local farms and farm markets, I hope to spend the summer giving my body higher quality fuel than I have in the past. And through these efforts, I expect better health to follow. As I take baby steps in this direction, I will blog it here. If you are interested in more information on these topics, check out the official Food, Inc., website here.
As usually happens when I become interested in a topic, I have started seeking out more information on this local food phenomenon. The Nest's message board community has a "Green Living" board that I have been frequenting more as of late, and there are a lot of women on there who are doing better than I would ever hope to do at living cleanly and locally in their communities. Without fail, these women recommend the books by Michael Pollan (The Omnivore's Dilemma, In Defense of Food) and the documentary Food, Inc., as a way to learn more about this food movement. After I finish Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, I have The Omnivore's Dilemma on my nook and ready to be read. I think this book is probably a little more hard-hitting than A,V,M in that it is less the story of someone's personal experience and more an informational book designed to teach you about the food you eat. And right now, I am watching Food,Inc., for the first time. I say the first time because I will clearly have to watch it again. It is alarming.
So far, I have cried over some baby chicks heading down a chute, some adult chickens that couldn't stand up because they had been bred to have such large breasts, a cow that was so sick that it couldn't stand, and some screaming hogs that were being led to slaughter. I have been awed by a woman who lost her toddler son to E. coli poisoning and now has made it her life's work to improve the food standards in America. I have been inspired by a farmer who doesn't care to make it big in the national markets but instead wants to grow and produce the best food he can without giving up his ideals. I have been sad for a family that uses fast food as a way to fill their bellies because it is the way they can stretch their dollar the farthest. I have been angered by the stories of the companies who are keeping hidden the way their suppliers treat their animals because they know that the American public would not be happy with these stories. At this point, I am only halfway through the program. I can't even imagine what kind of emotions I will go through during the rest of it.
While I make no promises to go completely clean with my eating or give up fast food completely, it is clear to me that there is a need for change. As I am working to make myself healthier through diet and exercise, I am becoming more aware that there is a difference between staying within a calorie range for the day and choosing foods that will provide good fuel for my body. With the help of local farms and farm markets, I hope to spend the summer giving my body higher quality fuel than I have in the past. And through these efforts, I expect better health to follow. As I take baby steps in this direction, I will blog it here. If you are interested in more information on these topics, check out the official Food, Inc., website here.
Saturday, May 01, 2010
Week Two Weigh-In
Today marks the beginning of the second week of my on-line weight loss challenge. I weighed in this week at 247 pounds, which was 2.8 pounds less than last week...not too bad for someone who has been watching her eating since January! I am going to Pittsburgh in two weeks for my sister's graduation from the Tepper School of Business at Carnegie Mellon University, and my goals is to be down a total of 30 pounds as of that date. As of my weigh-in this week, I had lost 27.6 pounds!
I mentioned in my last post that my birthday was this week, and I planned to be lenient on myself for a day for celebratory purposes. In reality, I didn't track my food in my calorie counter for two days...yesterday and today. My actual birthday was on Thursday, and I did track my food that day. I did treat myself to an oatmeal whoopie pie from the Amish bakery at the farmers' market, but I did stay within my calories for the day.
Yesterday started out with a trip to the dentist for my check-up and cleaning. At this appointment, I found out that two of my fillings, which are less than a year old, have voids in them and need to be replaced. I wasn't super upset about this at first, but the more I thought about it, the more sorry I felt for myself. Anyway, the result of that is that instead of the salad I planned for lunch (the chef salad from Wawa...LOVE it!), I went to Dairy Queen and got chicken tenders and fries. I also had more chocolate than I should have had that day. I actually ended up feeling a little bit iffy from it in the afternoon. My husband and I went out to dinner at Red Robin and then to a movie for our birthday date night. At Red Robin, I got soup and the Whiskey River Barbecue Chicken Wrap, which is yummy (no fries because I got the combo). My husband and I also split guacamole and salsa with chips. I did not have any alcohol (stuck with a Diet Coke and water), and I also didn't have anything to eat at the movies (I did sneak in my Klean Kanteen full of water to drink during the movie). I would call that day, for the most part, a mixed bag. I kind of gave in to emotional eating (although, quite honestly, if it had not been my birthday week, Friday would be my one day off of the week and I would have eaten something similar to that for lunch). I also ate more sweets than I should have. However, I also didn't eat as much at dinner as I might have on my usual type of "free" day, and I drank plenty of water. I also avoided any drinks with calories in them (such as the Freckled Lemonade at Red Robin, as well as beer or margaritas).
Today, I packed my lunch for work, but I knew that my amazing coworkers had planned to bring in food to celebrate for my birthday. I am so lucky to have such wonderful people in my life that care enough about me to do this. We had yogurt parfaits in the morning with fruit and granola, which were yummy. We also had meatball sandwiches, Buffalo chicken dip (YUM!), brownies, and strawberry-rhubarb cake. I think it goes without saying that my lunch that I packed is still in the fridge at work (waiting for my return tomorrow), and I ate some party foods! However, because I indulged at lunch and also a few other times in the afternoon, I came home and had a Luna bar as a snack before bed and am skipping dinner. I am not hungry (thanks to several trips back to the Buffalo chicken dip throughout the afternoon), and I know I am over my calorie goals for the day, so I am calling it a day. I did drink plenty of water today though!
Another nice benefit of having hit this level of weight loss is that I have gotten some nice compliments from the people in my life. My mom has mentioned several times how loose my clothing has become. But even better, my coworkers have mentioned what a difference they can see in me. A nice part of that is that it gives me an opportunity to talk about the changes I am trying to make, which makes it much easier to stick to my guns. I know I mentioned how appreciative I am of my coworkers, and I really am. It's so nice to have such a great support system at work, especially since I spend a good chunk of time there each week.
I am looking forward to seeing the results of my second week of the challenge!
Make it a great day, everyone!
I mentioned in my last post that my birthday was this week, and I planned to be lenient on myself for a day for celebratory purposes. In reality, I didn't track my food in my calorie counter for two days...yesterday and today. My actual birthday was on Thursday, and I did track my food that day. I did treat myself to an oatmeal whoopie pie from the Amish bakery at the farmers' market, but I did stay within my calories for the day.
Yesterday started out with a trip to the dentist for my check-up and cleaning. At this appointment, I found out that two of my fillings, which are less than a year old, have voids in them and need to be replaced. I wasn't super upset about this at first, but the more I thought about it, the more sorry I felt for myself. Anyway, the result of that is that instead of the salad I planned for lunch (the chef salad from Wawa...LOVE it!), I went to Dairy Queen and got chicken tenders and fries. I also had more chocolate than I should have had that day. I actually ended up feeling a little bit iffy from it in the afternoon. My husband and I went out to dinner at Red Robin and then to a movie for our birthday date night. At Red Robin, I got soup and the Whiskey River Barbecue Chicken Wrap, which is yummy (no fries because I got the combo). My husband and I also split guacamole and salsa with chips. I did not have any alcohol (stuck with a Diet Coke and water), and I also didn't have anything to eat at the movies (I did sneak in my Klean Kanteen full of water to drink during the movie). I would call that day, for the most part, a mixed bag. I kind of gave in to emotional eating (although, quite honestly, if it had not been my birthday week, Friday would be my one day off of the week and I would have eaten something similar to that for lunch). I also ate more sweets than I should have. However, I also didn't eat as much at dinner as I might have on my usual type of "free" day, and I drank plenty of water. I also avoided any drinks with calories in them (such as the Freckled Lemonade at Red Robin, as well as beer or margaritas).
Today, I packed my lunch for work, but I knew that my amazing coworkers had planned to bring in food to celebrate for my birthday. I am so lucky to have such wonderful people in my life that care enough about me to do this. We had yogurt parfaits in the morning with fruit and granola, which were yummy. We also had meatball sandwiches, Buffalo chicken dip (YUM!), brownies, and strawberry-rhubarb cake. I think it goes without saying that my lunch that I packed is still in the fridge at work (waiting for my return tomorrow), and I ate some party foods! However, because I indulged at lunch and also a few other times in the afternoon, I came home and had a Luna bar as a snack before bed and am skipping dinner. I am not hungry (thanks to several trips back to the Buffalo chicken dip throughout the afternoon), and I know I am over my calorie goals for the day, so I am calling it a day. I did drink plenty of water today though!
Another nice benefit of having hit this level of weight loss is that I have gotten some nice compliments from the people in my life. My mom has mentioned several times how loose my clothing has become. But even better, my coworkers have mentioned what a difference they can see in me. A nice part of that is that it gives me an opportunity to talk about the changes I am trying to make, which makes it much easier to stick to my guns. I know I mentioned how appreciative I am of my coworkers, and I really am. It's so nice to have such a great support system at work, especially since I spend a good chunk of time there each week.
I am looking forward to seeing the results of my second week of the challenge!
Make it a great day, everyone!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Does the camera really add ten pounds?
So I have been going along, losing weight, feeling pretty good about myself, but this week, two different things happened to remind me that I still have quite a ways to go. The first is that I found myself in some pictures that my sister-in-law took at a family event, and when I looked at them, I thought, "Wow, that is NOT what I see when I look in the mirror!" Isn't it amazing how your perception of yourself changes when you see a photo of yourself? Yes, I have lost weight (26 pounds as of this morning!), but I still have plenty more weight to lose.
The second thing that happened is I started my on-line weight loss challenge. This involves posting my stats on a private blog (so no link to it...sorry) each week. My first post had my weight and height, as well as measurements of my bust (big), waist (big), hips (SO BIG), and thighs (interestingly, they are an inch different in size). After seeing other people post "before" pictures, I decided to do the same thing. I took a frontal and a profile view picture of myself in my bathroom mirror Sunday morning, and all I could think was that I was pretty darn lumpy.
Here's the interesting thing. In the past, when I was in a less Zen place, this would have been enough to send me right to McDonald's or the Ben & Jerry's case at Wegman's, but I have been successfully following this new way of eating since January 4, which is almost FOUR MONTHS! This is unprecedented for me. I don't think I have ever gone this long without falling right off the bandwagon.
Anyhoo, let's get back to the good stuff. As of today, I have lost more than 25 pounds! YAY! And in 1.6 pounds, I will have lost 10% of my initial body weight. Also YAY! At work yesterday, one of my co-workers made a Big Deal over the fact that I have lost weight. It feels so good to have people notice! And when I was holding an 8-pound baby at work yesterday and thinking that I had lost a bit more than three times that amount of weight, I couldn't help but think about how much pressure I have taken off my knees and ankles and how this is such a good start toward better health and fitness!
Today, I start my second round of W1 or C25K. I sort of want to go out and try out W2, but I decided up front that I wanted to do W1 two weeks in a row, and I am going to stick with that. I haven't jogged since Friday because I worked the last three days (and the twelve-hour shifts only leave room for sleep in my life), but for the last two days, I have been absolutely itching to get back on the treadmill. I can't believe how obsessed I am with the idea of getting going on with this thing. I am heading to the gym now, and I am really looking forward to my workout!
This week will be challenging because it is my birthday week. On Thursday, I will be flipping over to a new year and turning 34. YIKES! I am planning a trip to the Farmers' Market on Thursday to buy all sorts of healthy foods (there is a stand that sells lots of local stuff that I want to check out, and I would also like to see if I can find some humanely-raised chicken and beef to try out), but I am also going to buy myself, at the Amish bakery, a whoopie pie. They are among my favorite treats ever, and it will be my actual birthday, and I am planning this splurge. I will only buy one (instead of the three I usually buy), and I will not buy anything else from the bakery (like the cream-filled donuts that they sell that are AWESOME but somehow involve lard, I think), but I am treating myself on my birthday to a whoopie pie. My husband and I are also going to grab some dinner that night at our favorite local-ish sports bar, where they sell my favorite wings. I usually get a dozen wings when I am there, and I love them. I am not sure yet what I am going to go about that. They do offer a half dozen option, so I could get that and a salad, which is probably what I will do. I could skip the wings altogether, but I don't really want to. And I definitely will not get the fries that usually complete my meal.
The second challenge is that my coworkers on Saturday are planning a little birthday celebration for me! I am so happy to have such awesome coworkers who care enough to do this. I work the weekend program in a NICU, and as result, two of my three shifts each week are spen with the same five women, all of whom I love. It is so nice to truly be friends with the people that you spend the bulk of your work time with. The other nice thing about them is that I can 100% trust in them as nurses, and that is important when you work in a NICU. And we make an awesome team, which is also nice because you never have to worry about being left hanging when an admission comes through the door. We all get together and get the job done, and we are good at what we do. The fact that we have a lot of fun together is an added bonus to our great teamwork ability. Anyway, there will be cake involved, but one of my coworkers is bringing in a fruit and yogurt parfait in a trifle bowl, because, as she put it, she doesn't want to sabotage my success. How nice is it that she cares enough to do that? Anyway, because my weigh-in day is Saturday for my challenge, I am not too concerned about Saturday because even if I do indulge a little bit, I have the rest of the week to "make up for it."
Anyway, gotta run (literally)! Make it a great day!
The second thing that happened is I started my on-line weight loss challenge. This involves posting my stats on a private blog (so no link to it...sorry) each week. My first post had my weight and height, as well as measurements of my bust (big), waist (big), hips (SO BIG), and thighs (interestingly, they are an inch different in size). After seeing other people post "before" pictures, I decided to do the same thing. I took a frontal and a profile view picture of myself in my bathroom mirror Sunday morning, and all I could think was that I was pretty darn lumpy.
Here's the interesting thing. In the past, when I was in a less Zen place, this would have been enough to send me right to McDonald's or the Ben & Jerry's case at Wegman's, but I have been successfully following this new way of eating since January 4, which is almost FOUR MONTHS! This is unprecedented for me. I don't think I have ever gone this long without falling right off the bandwagon.
Anyhoo, let's get back to the good stuff. As of today, I have lost more than 25 pounds! YAY! And in 1.6 pounds, I will have lost 10% of my initial body weight. Also YAY! At work yesterday, one of my co-workers made a Big Deal over the fact that I have lost weight. It feels so good to have people notice! And when I was holding an 8-pound baby at work yesterday and thinking that I had lost a bit more than three times that amount of weight, I couldn't help but think about how much pressure I have taken off my knees and ankles and how this is such a good start toward better health and fitness!
Today, I start my second round of W1 or C25K. I sort of want to go out and try out W2, but I decided up front that I wanted to do W1 two weeks in a row, and I am going to stick with that. I haven't jogged since Friday because I worked the last three days (and the twelve-hour shifts only leave room for sleep in my life), but for the last two days, I have been absolutely itching to get back on the treadmill. I can't believe how obsessed I am with the idea of getting going on with this thing. I am heading to the gym now, and I am really looking forward to my workout!
This week will be challenging because it is my birthday week. On Thursday, I will be flipping over to a new year and turning 34. YIKES! I am planning a trip to the Farmers' Market on Thursday to buy all sorts of healthy foods (there is a stand that sells lots of local stuff that I want to check out, and I would also like to see if I can find some humanely-raised chicken and beef to try out), but I am also going to buy myself, at the Amish bakery, a whoopie pie. They are among my favorite treats ever, and it will be my actual birthday, and I am planning this splurge. I will only buy one (instead of the three I usually buy), and I will not buy anything else from the bakery (like the cream-filled donuts that they sell that are AWESOME but somehow involve lard, I think), but I am treating myself on my birthday to a whoopie pie. My husband and I are also going to grab some dinner that night at our favorite local-ish sports bar, where they sell my favorite wings. I usually get a dozen wings when I am there, and I love them. I am not sure yet what I am going to go about that. They do offer a half dozen option, so I could get that and a salad, which is probably what I will do. I could skip the wings altogether, but I don't really want to. And I definitely will not get the fries that usually complete my meal.
The second challenge is that my coworkers on Saturday are planning a little birthday celebration for me! I am so happy to have such awesome coworkers who care enough to do this. I work the weekend program in a NICU, and as result, two of my three shifts each week are spen with the same five women, all of whom I love. It is so nice to truly be friends with the people that you spend the bulk of your work time with. The other nice thing about them is that I can 100% trust in them as nurses, and that is important when you work in a NICU. And we make an awesome team, which is also nice because you never have to worry about being left hanging when an admission comes through the door. We all get together and get the job done, and we are good at what we do. The fact that we have a lot of fun together is an added bonus to our great teamwork ability. Anyway, there will be cake involved, but one of my coworkers is bringing in a fruit and yogurt parfait in a trifle bowl, because, as she put it, she doesn't want to sabotage my success. How nice is it that she cares enough to do that? Anyway, because my weigh-in day is Saturday for my challenge, I am not too concerned about Saturday because even if I do indulge a little bit, I have the rest of the week to "make up for it."
Anyway, gotta run (literally)! Make it a great day!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Earth Day 2010
First of all, I would like to report on a milestone on my scale this morning. I weighed in today at 249.8 pounds, which is officially 0.2 pounds less than my initial goal of 250 pounds! I am so happy with this number, and I am now ready to set my next goal...in keeping with the "multiples of 25" rule, my next goal will be 225 pounds. It feels SO AMAZING to have achieved something I have set out to do like this, and I find myself with renewed resolve as I head farther into this journey.
My Biggest Loser-inspired on-line weight loss challenge starts on Saturday, and I feel like I am in a great place for it. When last we met, I had "finished" W1D1 of C25K, and I was discouraged by my experience. I am happy to report that heading into the gym and onto a treadmill for W1D2 was the right thing to do! By sticking to a slow pace of 4.3 MPH for the jogging segments and 3.3 MPH for the walking segments, I was able to jog all nine of the jogging segments. I am much relieved by this because I really was feeling discouraged after that first attempt. I am still planning to do W1 for two weeks in a row, as well as W2 for two weeks in a row, but I am looking forward to it now that I know I can do it. W1D3 will be done at the gym tomorrow morning. I am almost excited about it!
I have also been reading an inspiring book that will link this post to its title. While rooting around on the "Health & Fitness" board on The Nest, I started hearing some rumblings about "clean eating." I did buy a copy of Clean Eating magazine and do a little reading, and it's an interesting thought. I don't know that I want to go completely "clean," but some of the information in the magazine was very easily translate-able to my life. After looking through the magazine and then finding it available for my nook via the Free Library of Philadelphia, I decided to check out the book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. I have never read any of her books, but the premise of this one (a non-fiction account of a year that her family of four chose to move to a farm in Appalachia and become "locavores") seemed very interesting in light of the changes I am trying to make.
I have been devouring this book! Some people have mentioned finding her a little "preachy," but I am not finding this to be so. I have heard preachy before (I am talking to you, Jeanette Walls!), and this is not it. It is, on the other hand, fascinating information that I have always probably been slightly aware of but have never taken the time to consider.
For instance, let's talk about corn on the cob. Love it. Could eat it every day. When Florida corn becomes available, I start buying it right up. Eventually, I shift my corn-buying to local farmstands, but I don't let my enjoyment of corn be dictated by where I live. When it comes to the supermarket, I buy it, with little thought to the place it was grown, what kind of farming practices they use, and how much energy it took for that corn to get off the stalk in Florida and on to my plate here in Pennsylvania. In the back of my mind, I had the information to make me realize this, but I had not put it all together.
Now that I have, I am making a pledge this summer to buy all my produce (and also as much of my meat and eggs as possible) from more local sources (within the Poconos and Lehigh Valley area, let's say). I know of a couple of good sources for this stuff and have just found another that I am pretty excited about. My husband is also on board with the idea, and I am looking forward to exploring these places and really looking at what's in season here in Pennsylvania and planning my produce consumption around that information. So I thank Barbara Kingsolver for explaining this in a way that has brought it to the forefront of my mind. I can't wait to see how good local tastes!
I also have, saved on my DVR, another recommendation from a variety of sources, Food, Inc. I am not sure I am ready to tackle this one yet, as I am concerned that I will never want to eat McDonald's again. And I really like McDonald's...oh, well - baby steps, right?
My Biggest Loser-inspired on-line weight loss challenge starts on Saturday, and I feel like I am in a great place for it. When last we met, I had "finished" W1D1 of C25K, and I was discouraged by my experience. I am happy to report that heading into the gym and onto a treadmill for W1D2 was the right thing to do! By sticking to a slow pace of 4.3 MPH for the jogging segments and 3.3 MPH for the walking segments, I was able to jog all nine of the jogging segments. I am much relieved by this because I really was feeling discouraged after that first attempt. I am still planning to do W1 for two weeks in a row, as well as W2 for two weeks in a row, but I am looking forward to it now that I know I can do it. W1D3 will be done at the gym tomorrow morning. I am almost excited about it!
I have also been reading an inspiring book that will link this post to its title. While rooting around on the "Health & Fitness" board on The Nest, I started hearing some rumblings about "clean eating." I did buy a copy of Clean Eating magazine and do a little reading, and it's an interesting thought. I don't know that I want to go completely "clean," but some of the information in the magazine was very easily translate-able to my life. After looking through the magazine and then finding it available for my nook via the Free Library of Philadelphia, I decided to check out the book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. I have never read any of her books, but the premise of this one (a non-fiction account of a year that her family of four chose to move to a farm in Appalachia and become "locavores") seemed very interesting in light of the changes I am trying to make.
I have been devouring this book! Some people have mentioned finding her a little "preachy," but I am not finding this to be so. I have heard preachy before (I am talking to you, Jeanette Walls!), and this is not it. It is, on the other hand, fascinating information that I have always probably been slightly aware of but have never taken the time to consider.
For instance, let's talk about corn on the cob. Love it. Could eat it every day. When Florida corn becomes available, I start buying it right up. Eventually, I shift my corn-buying to local farmstands, but I don't let my enjoyment of corn be dictated by where I live. When it comes to the supermarket, I buy it, with little thought to the place it was grown, what kind of farming practices they use, and how much energy it took for that corn to get off the stalk in Florida and on to my plate here in Pennsylvania. In the back of my mind, I had the information to make me realize this, but I had not put it all together.
Now that I have, I am making a pledge this summer to buy all my produce (and also as much of my meat and eggs as possible) from more local sources (within the Poconos and Lehigh Valley area, let's say). I know of a couple of good sources for this stuff and have just found another that I am pretty excited about. My husband is also on board with the idea, and I am looking forward to exploring these places and really looking at what's in season here in Pennsylvania and planning my produce consumption around that information. So I thank Barbara Kingsolver for explaining this in a way that has brought it to the forefront of my mind. I can't wait to see how good local tastes!
I also have, saved on my DVR, another recommendation from a variety of sources, Food, Inc. I am not sure I am ready to tackle this one yet, as I am concerned that I will never want to eat McDonald's again. And I really like McDonald's...oh, well - baby steps, right?
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
My W1D1 story...and some thoughts on what I eat.
So yesterday, as I had promised myself I would, I headed to the fitness and walking trail that is part of our county's recreation league to start out on this C25K journey. I had never been to the trail before (it surrounds some soccer fields), but I had seen it from the highway, and I knew that it was relatively close to the county prison. Because I know where the prison is, I figured it would be easy to find.
Well, it was easy to find. However, reaching the parking lot was a little odd. You have to turn in by this barn and follow this narrow road that goes right by the prison yard (complete with signs admonishing you not to talk to the inmates...luckily, none were in sight as I drove by) to reach the parking lot. On the up side, the trail is not visible from the prison yard, so you don't have to worry about an audience.
I parked my car, got out and got my iPod all set up, and headed over the trail. There were perhaps seven more people on the trail, but it's pretty long (about a half mile, I think), so I didn't worry about stares as people wondered what I was doing! I was not able to jog all the "run" sections, but I still completed the workout. I was able to jog four of the nine runs, and I know I can improve this. I was very proud that I took this first step.
W2D2 is scheduled for tomorrow, and although I initially wanted to do these first weeks outside, I am rethinking that, and I think I am going to go to the gym tomorrow for my workout. First of all, we pay $82 per month for my husband and I to belong to the gym that is closest to our home. I have not been going often, and now that I have an exercise plan that I am setting out on, it just makes sense to go to the gym for it. Secondly, when I used to run, I was mostly a treadmill runner, and I liked that. I would run outside on occasion, but for the most part, I liked the treadmill. And third, I want to be able to pay attention to how fast I am going in the run sections because I think keeping them slow will make me able to do more of them. I am worried that I was jogging faster than I should have, and being outside, I had no way to gauge my speed. On a treadmill, I can keep the runs at more of a "wog," and that should help with my stamina. I am interested in working first on the amount of time that I can jog and then worrying about speed later. So I think the treadmill might be the way to go for now.
*****
I have done every diet out there, it seems. I have a lot of information on low carb diets, low fat diets, low GI diets, high fiber diets, and a variety of other diets floating around up in my head. I had some success with Weight Watchers in the past, but I find that to be very low calorie, and I have trouble sticking to that in the long term. I have been doing nothing but calorie counting since January, and that has really worked for me. However, I am noticing that I am getting a little looser with my eating, and I am thinking it is time to rein it in some.
The first sign that I was slipping was when I found myself in the drive thru at Sonic after work for the second time in a week. I had enough calories left over for the day both days to enjoy some tots with cheese for dinner (I love these things!), so I indulged. However, those are something that should be an occasional treat, not my dinner choice two nights in a week.
I also notice at home that I am relying on a lot of froze and convenience foods to build my meals. I do buy some decent foods to bring to work for lunch, but when I am at home, I often find myself reaching for frozen foods or Easy-Mac or my stand-by of either a tostada shell or flour tortilla with cheese melted on it. While I am staying, for the most part, within my calorie goals of 1600-1800 calories, I am not giving my body the best fuel available for it. I would like to change this.
Next time I am out and about, I plan to grab an issue of Clean Eating magazine and do some perusal of what it means to eat clean. I also want to work on getting some superfoods back in my diet, as I know that they taste great and pack a nutritious punch. I don't expect to give up all of my convenience foods, but if I can replace some of them with something better for me, I will be better off in the long run. And I hope that doing this will break the weight loss plateau I find myself on, especially since my challenge is starting on Saturday! I am at my lowest weight since January, but it is only 0.2 pounds less than I was when I weighed myself on Friday morning. However, any loss is good, and I will take it!
Well, it was easy to find. However, reaching the parking lot was a little odd. You have to turn in by this barn and follow this narrow road that goes right by the prison yard (complete with signs admonishing you not to talk to the inmates...luckily, none were in sight as I drove by) to reach the parking lot. On the up side, the trail is not visible from the prison yard, so you don't have to worry about an audience.
I parked my car, got out and got my iPod all set up, and headed over the trail. There were perhaps seven more people on the trail, but it's pretty long (about a half mile, I think), so I didn't worry about stares as people wondered what I was doing! I was not able to jog all the "run" sections, but I still completed the workout. I was able to jog four of the nine runs, and I know I can improve this. I was very proud that I took this first step.
W2D2 is scheduled for tomorrow, and although I initially wanted to do these first weeks outside, I am rethinking that, and I think I am going to go to the gym tomorrow for my workout. First of all, we pay $82 per month for my husband and I to belong to the gym that is closest to our home. I have not been going often, and now that I have an exercise plan that I am setting out on, it just makes sense to go to the gym for it. Secondly, when I used to run, I was mostly a treadmill runner, and I liked that. I would run outside on occasion, but for the most part, I liked the treadmill. And third, I want to be able to pay attention to how fast I am going in the run sections because I think keeping them slow will make me able to do more of them. I am worried that I was jogging faster than I should have, and being outside, I had no way to gauge my speed. On a treadmill, I can keep the runs at more of a "wog," and that should help with my stamina. I am interested in working first on the amount of time that I can jog and then worrying about speed later. So I think the treadmill might be the way to go for now.
*****
I have done every diet out there, it seems. I have a lot of information on low carb diets, low fat diets, low GI diets, high fiber diets, and a variety of other diets floating around up in my head. I had some success with Weight Watchers in the past, but I find that to be very low calorie, and I have trouble sticking to that in the long term. I have been doing nothing but calorie counting since January, and that has really worked for me. However, I am noticing that I am getting a little looser with my eating, and I am thinking it is time to rein it in some.
The first sign that I was slipping was when I found myself in the drive thru at Sonic after work for the second time in a week. I had enough calories left over for the day both days to enjoy some tots with cheese for dinner (I love these things!), so I indulged. However, those are something that should be an occasional treat, not my dinner choice two nights in a week.
I also notice at home that I am relying on a lot of froze and convenience foods to build my meals. I do buy some decent foods to bring to work for lunch, but when I am at home, I often find myself reaching for frozen foods or Easy-Mac or my stand-by of either a tostada shell or flour tortilla with cheese melted on it. While I am staying, for the most part, within my calorie goals of 1600-1800 calories, I am not giving my body the best fuel available for it. I would like to change this.
Next time I am out and about, I plan to grab an issue of Clean Eating magazine and do some perusal of what it means to eat clean. I also want to work on getting some superfoods back in my diet, as I know that they taste great and pack a nutritious punch. I don't expect to give up all of my convenience foods, but if I can replace some of them with something better for me, I will be better off in the long run. And I hope that doing this will break the weight loss plateau I find myself on, especially since my challenge is starting on Saturday! I am at my lowest weight since January, but it is only 0.2 pounds less than I was when I weighed myself on Friday morning. However, any loss is good, and I will take it!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Eat less, move more...
The fact that I haven't written a post on this blog in over 15 months should clue you in that I am, once again, not magically skinny! In fact, on January 4, 2010, when I stepped on my scale in preparation for yet another New Year's resolution ("Eat less, move more."), I was at an even higher weight than last year's highest-weight-ever. I weighed 274.6 pounds. I am really hoping that no one who knows me in real life will read that number and realize just how fat I had gotten. I mean, looking at me on that day, it was obvious that I was very overweight. But in my head, because of my height, I carry it pretty well. Of course, even carrying it well, 275ish pounds is a lot of weight to be carrying around.
When I think back to the time I signed up for eDiets when I was not too far out of college, disgusted with myself for hitting the weight of 221 pounds, I am amazed that I have gained over 50 pounds in the time since then. Of course, 35 pounds of that was packed on during those years of nursing school, when dinner often involved Burger King or Wendy's, and I used sugary candies and regular soda to get through class. If I weighed 221 pounds right now, I would think I was one hot chicky! Unfortunately, I am not.
It's now the middle of April. I have been consistently "dieting" (I put that in quotes because I know it is a lifestyle change and NOT a diet, but I lack another word for it.) for over three months. I have lost, as of this morning 23.2 pounds. I have not lost that much weight with any amount of success since belonging to Weight Watchers, which I believe was about three years ago.
So how am I doing this? Being the fan of technology that I am, I finally got a BlackBerry this year. And one of the first apps I loaded on to this BB is the app that goes along with the website FatSecret.com. It's a nice website, I think, but it's the app that I really like. It has a considerable number of foods in its calorie counter, along with the ability to input custom foods. It prompts you to weigh in each week. It tracks whatever you want it to track (including WW Points, if that is your plan). And best of all, when I put in that awful, high weight, it told me that I could eat 2500 calories per day and lose a pound each week.
!!!!!
If eating 2500 calories would lead to weight loss like that, what HAD I been eating? On January 3, the day before I started my "diet," I decided to find out. I will preface this by saying this was my third day of 12-hour shifts in a row. I ate two breakfasts (a small one at home and then one in the cafeteria at work), a lunch from the cafeteria, and a fast food dinner. This was not an unusual occurrence in my pre-"diet" days. Three days in a row of working as a nurse for 12-hour shifts is EXHAUSTING. My food intake often looked like this on such occasions.
On that day, I ate 3500 CALORIES. I was shocked and appalled. What a wake-up moment. So THIS is why I was fat! I understood! That was a LOT of food!
I still didn't believe that 2500 calories each day would lead to weight loss. But I also didn't think I needed to cut it back to 1200 calories each day. I didn't want to set myself up to fail. I decided to aim for 1600-1800 calories per day. But the nice thing about having that 2500 calorie number in the back of my mind has been that, when I do overindulge, I don't hate myself. I don't use it as an excuse to begin the descent into gluttony. I have successfully been able to get back on the horse and try again.
Here are some things I am doing:
- I am taking Fridays, for the most part, off. My mom and I bowl in a league on Fridays, and we eat fast food on those days. If I eat "too much" that day and journal it on my BB, I know I will feel bad about myself. Therefore, I don't do it.
- Sometimes, I get derailed on the weekends, probably because of that day off on Friday. However, even when I am not eating the "right" foods, I am still paying attention to portion sizes.
- I have bought some new clothes in smaller sizes. I was heading into a size 22 in jeans. Actually, I was wearing a size 22 in jeans. I am back in 20s. And I have bought some shirts that are not plus-sized, although they are still XL and XXL. My Old Navy bill is creeping up, but it's nice to wear clothes that fit my new size.
- I eat a small bit of chocolate almost every day. Right now, it is Hershey's chocolate eggs I got half off at CVS after easter. I eat 2 or 3 or 4 of these over the course of the day. I am satisfied by this. I don't journal them.
- I drink very little plain water. I love the Wild Strawberry Crystal Lite individual serving packets, and I add them to bottled water. I but bottled water because I like drinking out of the little bottles. I know it's not environmentally friendly, and the BPA in the bottles might screw with my hormones. The alternative is that I drink no water at all, and I don't want to have kids anyway. Bottled water works for me. I also drink a liter bottle of the Spleda-sweetened flavored sparkling water sold by most grocery chains. It's like soda, but it's not soda. I still have one diet soda most days, but it's not every day. And it's not the 40 to 60 ounces of regular soda that I used to drink on a daily basis.
- I really pay the most attention to calories. Sometimes the calories come from salad and fruit and veggies and whole grains and lean meats. Sometimes the calories come from a large Tots with Cheese from the Sonic drive thru. If I have the calories for it, and it fits in with my calorie goals for the day, I let myself have it. I would rather eat that "unhealthy" food and put it behind me than skip the unhealthy food and then binge on something else because I didn't eat what I really wanted.
In the coming weeks, some exciting stuff is planned out in my head. First of all, I am joining a Biggest Loser-inspired on-line weight loss challenge. It costs $15, and it is a ten-week challenge. I heard about it on Facebook from a friend-of-a-friend (although we have known each other for over ten years now, so I guess she really is my friend too). It has five weeks of team challenges, followed by five weeks of individual challenges. I have a long history of (A) being competitive and (B) being motivated by money. I expect this will be a nice way to build on the momentum I have gained. I am also going to ONCE AGAIN take on the Couch-to-5K (C25K) challenge. This is a nine-week program designed to get you off the couch and able to run a 5K. I am planning to lengthen the duration of the program as needed to deal with the fact that I last ran for exercise sometime around 1999. But I am going to lace up some running shoes and hit both the treadmill at my gym and the fitness trail that is run by my county's rec. department. I plan to do the first couple of weeks outside on the fitness trail (it appears to be a cinder or stone trail, and it is nice and flat), and once I am able to run for more than 90 seconds at a time, I will be bringing it indoors. This should coincide with the coming of summer here in the Poconos, and I will probably be ready for the air conditioning.
My goal through all this is to use this blog to keep me going. Even if no one ever reads this, I will have this place to talk about what's working and what isn't working, how I feel, what I am doing, and how I am doing it. I really feel that this could be the time that it works.
Please let this be the time that it works...
Monday, January 05, 2009
So let's talk about fat...
It's been over three years since I posted on this blog, and I wish I could say that I am miraculously skinny. But I am not. In fact, I am even more unskinny than I was three years ago! In fact, when I stepped on the scale yesterday morning, the number that glared (yes, glared!) back at me was a higher number than I had ever seen when I stepped on a scale. It was a sobering experience.
Now, the fact is that I had just gotten home from work yesterday morning when I stepped on the scale. So that was just like weighing myself at the end of a normal day, after eating all day. I reweighed myself when I woke up for work last night, and the number was almost five pounds less. But even if that new and improved highest-weight-ever, I am about eight pounds heavier than I was when I started Weight Watchers almost two years ago. I lost about 27 pounds on Weight Watchers that time, and how I have gained about 35 pounds. Talk about a yo-yo...
Once again, I started counting WW Points yesterday. When I calculated out the number of Points I am to aim for in a day, it was a nice, high number. A perfectly reasonable number. An easy number to stick to. I ate well yesterday, and I had to add two evening snacks to get my Points in. I should be able to do this. I have to do this.
First of all, carrying this much weight around is a health issue. I have been lucky that youth is basically on my side, but I am heading deeper and deeper into my thirties, and I won't be able to rely on that much longer. Also, I think I would really like to try to get pregnant this year. Do I want to start a pregnancy this overweight? Do I want to risk all the problems that could go along with that? Do I want to be a fat mom? Do I want to be fat at all? Finally, I would like to be more agile. And I find myself having trouble with the stupidest things...
I don't want to be fat. But I don't know if I have in me what it takes to get skinny.
Now, the fact is that I had just gotten home from work yesterday morning when I stepped on the scale. So that was just like weighing myself at the end of a normal day, after eating all day. I reweighed myself when I woke up for work last night, and the number was almost five pounds less. But even if that new and improved highest-weight-ever, I am about eight pounds heavier than I was when I started Weight Watchers almost two years ago. I lost about 27 pounds on Weight Watchers that time, and how I have gained about 35 pounds. Talk about a yo-yo...
Once again, I started counting WW Points yesterday. When I calculated out the number of Points I am to aim for in a day, it was a nice, high number. A perfectly reasonable number. An easy number to stick to. I ate well yesterday, and I had to add two evening snacks to get my Points in. I should be able to do this. I have to do this.
First of all, carrying this much weight around is a health issue. I have been lucky that youth is basically on my side, but I am heading deeper and deeper into my thirties, and I won't be able to rely on that much longer. Also, I think I would really like to try to get pregnant this year. Do I want to start a pregnancy this overweight? Do I want to risk all the problems that could go along with that? Do I want to be a fat mom? Do I want to be fat at all? Finally, I would like to be more agile. And I find myself having trouble with the stupidest things...
I don't want to be fat. But I don't know if I have in me what it takes to get skinny.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
And on another note...
So that diet thing? Not working...
The fat continues to sit there, and as nice as I am to it, I can't seem to convince it to leave...not without doing something like starving it (via diet) or working it (via exercise). It won't leave just to be nice. I've tried, but it says no.
Here's the thing...I don't want to diet. I want to eat whatever I want. When I allow myself to eat like I want, I am happy. Okay, maybe I am not happy. Maybe I am just not unhappy. Sure, I get that guilty feeling because I just polished off a can of Pringles, but as long as I don't enter the land of the binge, I feel pretty okay.
Of course, I want to be thinner and healthier and in better shape. So that means that it's not okay to just eat whatever looks good. There needs to be more balance. There needs to be more vegetables. There needs to be less French fries and less beer and less M&Ms.
Of course, the holidays are upon us, and as such, I sort of expect myself to fail. After all, I have never been successful at losing weight and keeping it off. I did have some success with Atkins a few years back, but that is a road I don't want to travel again. And those pounds came back on when I started eating carbs again.
So how does someone who sees herself as doomed to fail (and who is lacking in motivation) take control of her life and her health and do something about the extra poundage? I am going to try making nice with my friend the treadmill and see what we can do about this together. Because I do have a wedding dress to buy in a few months. And I don't want it to be tent-sized.
The fat continues to sit there, and as nice as I am to it, I can't seem to convince it to leave...not without doing something like starving it (via diet) or working it (via exercise). It won't leave just to be nice. I've tried, but it says no.
Here's the thing...I don't want to diet. I want to eat whatever I want. When I allow myself to eat like I want, I am happy. Okay, maybe I am not happy. Maybe I am just not unhappy. Sure, I get that guilty feeling because I just polished off a can of Pringles, but as long as I don't enter the land of the binge, I feel pretty okay.
Of course, I want to be thinner and healthier and in better shape. So that means that it's not okay to just eat whatever looks good. There needs to be more balance. There needs to be more vegetables. There needs to be less French fries and less beer and less M&Ms.
Of course, the holidays are upon us, and as such, I sort of expect myself to fail. After all, I have never been successful at losing weight and keeping it off. I did have some success with Atkins a few years back, but that is a road I don't want to travel again. And those pounds came back on when I started eating carbs again.
So how does someone who sees herself as doomed to fail (and who is lacking in motivation) take control of her life and her health and do something about the extra poundage? I am going to try making nice with my friend the treadmill and see what we can do about this together. Because I do have a wedding dress to buy in a few months. And I don't want it to be tent-sized.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Not quite so fat...
I haven't been completely sucking at the diet this week. I have been pretty active and have been drinking plenty of water. And I have been eating food that is good for me, along with less good things in moderation. It feels good to do well...now let's just keep it up for, oh, the next 54 weeks!
Oy...
Oy...
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat
So ask me how I feel today...
Anyway, the back-on-the-wagon thing? It didn't happen. I am still eating like a porker and not drinking water and not really exercising (does one day at the gym count). Somehow, I have not gained all my weight back, but if I don't stop answering the call of the drive thru, I might end up there.
This day has started out well...let's see if I can manage not to screw it up. I am starting a challenge with my friends the Diamonds (we used to be on eDiets together and now populate an EZ Board) on Monday, so this should be good practice for the real thing...
Anyway, the back-on-the-wagon thing? It didn't happen. I am still eating like a porker and not drinking water and not really exercising (does one day at the gym count). Somehow, I have not gained all my weight back, but if I don't stop answering the call of the drive thru, I might end up there.
This day has started out well...let's see if I can manage not to screw it up. I am starting a challenge with my friends the Diamonds (we used to be on eDiets together and now populate an EZ Board) on Monday, so this should be good practice for the real thing...
Thursday, September 15, 2005
What a rush...
If you are a dieter, you know this feeling. You know that you have done pretty well on your diet this week. You have cut out all the boredom eating and stress eating. You have been making good choices most of the time. You have been eating all your water. And a week has gone by, and it's time to check your progress. You step on the scale...
This week, I have lost 8.5 pounds. Now, some of that was, without a doubt, water weight that was put on both because it was TOM for me and because I hadn't been drinking the water my needs. However, it's a great feeling to step on a scale and have it register 8.5 pounds less than it did a week ago. I am going to take that feeling and run with it. I know every week won't be like this!
The funny thing is that I went over my Points plenty of times this week. But you know what I stopped doing? I stopped grazing when I was bored. I stopped eating just because I thought it was time for a snack. I listened to my body. When it told me it was hungry, I fed it. When it told me it was full, I stopped eating. It felt almost...normal. It felt good.
This week, I have lost 8.5 pounds. Now, some of that was, without a doubt, water weight that was put on both because it was TOM for me and because I hadn't been drinking the water my needs. However, it's a great feeling to step on a scale and have it register 8.5 pounds less than it did a week ago. I am going to take that feeling and run with it. I know every week won't be like this!
The funny thing is that I went over my Points plenty of times this week. But you know what I stopped doing? I stopped grazing when I was bored. I stopped eating just because I thought it was time for a snack. I listened to my body. When it told me it was hungry, I fed it. When it told me it was full, I stopped eating. It felt almost...normal. It felt good.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
K.I.S.S.
Sometimes, I can be a little detail-oriented. Some might even call me anal. And when I set out on a new diet, I want to do everything "right."
I want to exercise. I want to take all those weird supplements that are recommended in various health and fitness magazines. I want to drink 80 ounces of water everyday. I want to eat at least 10 superfoods, get in all my fruits and veggies, stay away from processed foods, and avoid caffeine. And every week, I want to weigh myself and measure all my body parts so I can see the progress I am making.
And I do this for a few weeks. And then I get burnt out. It's a pain in the ass to measure my hips, waist, bust, two arms, two thighs, and two calves every week. It's hard to drink that much water some days. It gets really tiring to swallow ten supplements every morning. And sometimes, I want to take my veggie calories and spend them on something else, like a serving of Goldfish crackers.
But the bar has been set, and it has been set high. As soon as I fail at one of my endeavors, I figure I might as well just give up. So I do...I fall off the wagon, and I can't see my way to getting back up on it. I have failed at a diet once again. I knew it; you knew it; we all knew it. There is no way I could keep it up.
Well, I would like to think that this time it can be different. And to give myself a better shot at success, I am adopting the motto "Keep It Simple, Stupid." I will weigh myself every week, but I won't measure. I will make a multi-vitamin and a glucosamine dose (for my knees), but all the CoQ10 and Fish Oils and Carotenoid Complexes? They will not be part of my plan. I will drink as much water as I feel thirsty for, and I will drink some Crystal Lite, and I will aim for 64 ounces of those two things in combination. And if I miss a veggies dose one day but still stay within my Points Range (did I mention I am a Weight Watchers girl?), the day will still be a success. I will pay attention to my superfoods, but they won't rule my life.
Let's all take a deep breath and relax. Here's to dieting not being a full-time job! I just don't have room in my life for one of those right now...
I want to exercise. I want to take all those weird supplements that are recommended in various health and fitness magazines. I want to drink 80 ounces of water everyday. I want to eat at least 10 superfoods, get in all my fruits and veggies, stay away from processed foods, and avoid caffeine. And every week, I want to weigh myself and measure all my body parts so I can see the progress I am making.
And I do this for a few weeks. And then I get burnt out. It's a pain in the ass to measure my hips, waist, bust, two arms, two thighs, and two calves every week. It's hard to drink that much water some days. It gets really tiring to swallow ten supplements every morning. And sometimes, I want to take my veggie calories and spend them on something else, like a serving of Goldfish crackers.
But the bar has been set, and it has been set high. As soon as I fail at one of my endeavors, I figure I might as well just give up. So I do...I fall off the wagon, and I can't see my way to getting back up on it. I have failed at a diet once again. I knew it; you knew it; we all knew it. There is no way I could keep it up.
Well, I would like to think that this time it can be different. And to give myself a better shot at success, I am adopting the motto "Keep It Simple, Stupid." I will weigh myself every week, but I won't measure. I will make a multi-vitamin and a glucosamine dose (for my knees), but all the CoQ10 and Fish Oils and Carotenoid Complexes? They will not be part of my plan. I will drink as much water as I feel thirsty for, and I will drink some Crystal Lite, and I will aim for 64 ounces of those two things in combination. And if I miss a veggies dose one day but still stay within my Points Range (did I mention I am a Weight Watchers girl?), the day will still be a success. I will pay attention to my superfoods, but they won't rule my life.
Let's all take a deep breath and relax. Here's to dieting not being a full-time job! I just don't have room in my life for one of those right now...
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Let's talk...
...about Food. It's all around us. It sustains us. It entertains us. It tempts us. And many people have a problem with it. I am one of those people.
A recent trip to the grocery store...planning all the foods that I was going to pig out on...reminded me once again that I have a problem. I don't have a healthy relationship with food. I eat food out of boredom or to calm my stress or because it happens to be there. I don't eat like a "normal" person. I eat like someone with an addiction. And I don't want to be like that.
My old blog, "The Size of My Thighs," is here no longer. That blog was a self-deprecating look at life as an overweight woman trying to get a laugh. This blog is the nitty-gritty. You will hear about what I think about my eating habits. You will hear the good and the bad. You will hear me refer to my thighs as my "hamhocks." I am hoping they will get smaller.
I get married in about 13 1/2 months. I don't want to be a fat bride. Join me on this journey to a slimmer me...but don't be surprised if the ride is a bumpy one!
A recent trip to the grocery store...planning all the foods that I was going to pig out on...reminded me once again that I have a problem. I don't have a healthy relationship with food. I eat food out of boredom or to calm my stress or because it happens to be there. I don't eat like a "normal" person. I eat like someone with an addiction. And I don't want to be like that.
My old blog, "The Size of My Thighs," is here no longer. That blog was a self-deprecating look at life as an overweight woman trying to get a laugh. This blog is the nitty-gritty. You will hear about what I think about my eating habits. You will hear the good and the bad. You will hear me refer to my thighs as my "hamhocks." I am hoping they will get smaller.
I get married in about 13 1/2 months. I don't want to be a fat bride. Join me on this journey to a slimmer me...but don't be surprised if the ride is a bumpy one!
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